Real life … Im in love with a polyamory. Yes you read that correctly, I am a woman who believes in monogamous relationships but my partner on the other hand is more of a believer in a polyamorous lifestyle. We met each other about 4 years ago and when we met he felt that he had met his soul mate(me). I did not originally know he was in a relationship when we met but when I did find out I was not interested in being anyones “home wrecker” so I told him how I felt and in turn we became really good friends.
A year later him and his girlfriend were expecting a baby. I was very happy for him although I knew it would change things forever as he now had a child and would forever have ties to this woman. And the one thing I had always said growing up was I would never be with a man with children. I could not handle having to deal with knowing you have another woman in your life permanently that isn’t me. We did a lot of on and off talking throughout the duration of the pregnancy until right before the baby was born. I had taken a step back to let him just be there for his family as I could not handle the thought of him trying to begin something with me while he already had something going with her.
A couple months after the baby was born I reached out to him to congratulate him and see how things were going being a new dad. Unexpectedly that conversation was the start to where we are today. We picked right back up where we left off and things began to get rocky at home for him as his girlfriend had found out about our friendship. She legit went ape shit! It felt like something out of a movie for sure. From there he ended up moving in with me and so we began our relationship. (Crazy, I know right lol)
Things were very rocky for a while as far as trying to figure out a way to make things work out so that we could have our relationship but also so that he could have a proper & loving relationship with his son. I was living with a roommate at the time and figured it was time for my own space as I now had a man living with me. He spoke about us all living together in one big house some day saying that was his dream. To be able to be with his soul mate but to also be able to be with his family and not have to choose between the two. I was completely against the idea as was she. I knew I wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with me but I also knew he had a family to be there for as well. There were two children in this family as the ex girlfriend already came into the relationship with a child.
We found an apartment together and ended up finding out we were expecting a baby a week after signing the lease. Of course his son’s mother was not happy about the news. We all ended up having a big conversation together only to figure out that he still was wrapped up on the idea of us being one big happy family especially now that we were expecting. Neither of us took well to hearing this AGAIN. I did not know what to do. I knew I wanted this relationship but with everything that came with it was it all worth it? Was me having a baby by this man who already has a child a smart idea? Maybe I shouldn’t even be contemplating all these things as I was not even aware I could get pregnant. Was this maybe some kind of a sign? Or simply just meant to be?
Whatever it was I went with it. Everything with him just seemed right (with the exception of his son’s mother). I was convinced she was just pure evil. During my pregnancy we had to all put our differences aside and figure out some kind of common grounds as our children would be siblings no matter what either of us felt. It was one of the most mature things I can ever say I did and boy did it help us out in a major way.
We were all able to be in the same house and not have any tension or disrespect. Just for the most part good vibes and happy children. Us ladies got to know each other and of course she realized I was a very much so likable person and I realized she wasn’t as bad as she advertised herself to be. She was just an angry woman who believed in monogamous relationships just as I had and was now faced with being with a man who wanted the opposite of that which was to be with the both of his families and not have to feel bad about it. So I was able to better understand her actions from the past.
As we were now getting along we still came to the conclusion as a whole that, even after getting to know each other, us trying to be all together in one household as a unit was not something either of us could foresee in our near future. We both still have our own separate personal relationships with our kids father and things will likely stay that way. As a unit if anything the biggest thing that has been strengthened out of all of this would have to be the lives of our children. To be able to grow up with your siblings even from different parents and not have to worry about seeing anger, resentment, jealousy, or special treatment given to one child over another is a great gift I am able to give my daughter, as it is something I was not able to experience myself having a “half sister” growing up. In the end that is what this is really all about anyway, surrounding my daughter with love, family, and all the support she needs to be happy and successful in life.
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